so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
