Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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