Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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