When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
