Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
