Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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