i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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