i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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