shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
