she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You are a genius and a whore.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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