I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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