got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
