Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
