I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
