my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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