Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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