Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just googled if crying burns calories
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
