I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
