My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
