When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
