I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
