Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
