The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
