i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's on the porch naked. Help.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
is it fun? or sober?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
