bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she told me i tasted like america
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
