So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
