I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
