how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
