Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
