she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
