We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
