The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
