Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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