The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
