Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
