If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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