One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
