You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
