Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
