Your face is a jimmy john
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
