imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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