the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
