Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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