dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
