shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
