i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
