how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
