He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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