Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
