He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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