You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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